Optimism and Pessimism Blended

Apart from my son, the two men I know best are my dad and my husband. I would have said they are nothing alike, but today I caught myself thinking of a few similarities, as well as several differences.

In general, my father has always been an optimist, always encouraging me and my sister to be the same. Yet, because of this optimism, he often sets himself up for disappointment. When he sees a doctor for one problem, he will share his life story, given any encouragement.

“About thirty years ago, I quit having kidney stones,” he’ll tell a cardiologist or orthopedic surgeon. He’ll go on to explain why, in his opinion, this happened.

When the doctors’ tone becomes abrupt, or they fail to zero in on the cause of the current issue, my dad’s disappointed. “I thought he was going to be different,” he’ll say, or “I thought she was going to connect all the dots.”

My husband, who went to veterinary school, knows better than to expect too much from doctors. Nonetheless, he’s likely to follow their instructions to the tee. If they misdiagnose, he’ll make excuses for them. “If you hear hoof beats, don’t look for zebras,” he’ll say.

When it comes to sports, they both enjoy watching games on TV. If I hear my dad whooping, I know it’s because our team just scored, made a great play, or otherwise advanced the cause.

When my husband becomes vocal, I’m equally sure it’s the opposite. Either the other team has made a great play, or our team just blundered or missed an opportunity. (My son must have picked up habits from both because he shouts either way.)

The similarity I’m thinking of lies in the way they each combine traits of optimism with those of pessimism. If I present an idea to my husband, I’m pretty sure his first words will be “The problem with that is…”

If I present an idea to my dad, he’s more likely to say, “That’s a great idea,” and nod his approval.

Down the road, however, my dad’s attitude toward the idea, the doctor, the team, or even the novel he’s reading may turn sour. My husband, on the other hand, will likely get onboard, once he has prepared us both for trouble ahead.

“I’m not a pessimist,” he’ll say. “I’m a realist.” When our team loses, he says, “At least I didn’t have any money on it,” or “There’s always next year.”

Do you prefer to read books about optimists or pessimists? Or is the blended character best of all?